


I've never...!

by indulgentDaemon



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - Pirate, Multi, Pirates, Piratestuck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-08
Updated: 2016-07-08
Packaged: 2018-07-22 09:40:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,159
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7430669
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/indulgentDaemon/pseuds/indulgentDaemon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A short, sappy little fluff story for a very special Turtle that is celebrating their birthday!</p>
<p>This story takes place in Syb's Pirate AU where Sollux Captor is a recent, ah, captive from the Ram crew, taken as a hostage by the Crab's captain Karkat. The two are interested in each other, but needs a little spark to get going, so Nepeta steps up to the challenge.</p>
<p>Pardon the rushed ending, but I wanted to have this finished on the correct date and I'm about to keel over from exhaustion. Hope you like it, and let me know if you want a -saucier- sequel.</p>
<p>Inspired by the works of http://syblatortue.tumblr.com/ - Go check it all out! <3</p>
            </blockquote>





	I've never...!

**Author's Note:**

  * For [SybLaTortue](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SybLaTortue/gifts).



The sound of seagulls crying woke her up, tiny rays of sunlight pricking her half-lidded eyes and causing the troll to stir ever so slowly. Nepeta Leijon stretched and yawned loudly as she rose from last night’s watch. Yep, she'd fallen asleep. Again. 

Most of the time she would actually manage the all-nighter, but this wasn’t one of those times. In fact, she hadn't even gotten into the small crow’s nest, the cramped spot not exactly the ideal place for a snooze. Nope, she’d been napping in the rigging, just like any sensible person would! Plenty of room to stretch, breeze keeping you pleasantly cool, and of course an unparalleled view of the ship beneath you, cutting through the waves. Too bad she always got the night-shift or there would actually be something interesting to see down there!

The sun had just risen, meaning that most everyone but the helmsman were asleep, snoring away in their bunks. She didn’t talk much to Sollux, who had been getting the night-shift with her once it was confirmed he wasn't going anywhere. But lately she’d seen him and Karkitty together more than usual... And if she was anything, she was a nosy kitty-cat. What were those two up to? She'd seen the looks they'd exchanged, the moments lasting a little bit longer than they should... the way Karkat was acting all possessive of the prisoner of war. There was a spark there, but she had no doubts that neither of them had acted on it. Hell, knowing captain Krabby Kats, he probably wasn't even aware of it! And if Sollux was... well, she didn't peg him for the aggressive type, he'd probably just be all sulky about it.

Slipping down from the nest was easy, she’d practically spent her life aboard ships, and the muscles of her arms had no problem supporting her toned body as she quickly descended with a grin. Why was she smiling? Mostly because she was smelling land (which meant hunting!), but also because a little idea had rooted itself in her mind, and she was going to scope out the chances for it. First, she’d need to have a chat with the helmsman.

Sollux, meanwhile, was bored. Mostly because literally nothing happened during the graveyard-shift. People slept, lanterns swayed in the wind, the occasional holler from the crow’s nest breaking the monotony… But tonight there had been nothing out of the ordinary. He had a sneaking suspicion that Nepeta had been snoozing on the job and, frankly, it was lucky they hadn’t run aground during the night. Captain Karkat had told them to set sail for south-west, plotting a course that he’d insisted would take them to a large, bountiful island he’d visited a few times before to stock up and stretch their legs. Sollux was… doubtful, but he wouldn’t say no to a few days off duty, perhaps meeting some old friend of the Captain’s and getting pleasantly drunk on whatever they might have to offer in terms of intoxication... even if he'd have to be in chains, for appearance's sake.

Plus, their food storage was running low and they were all out of anything that wasn’t salted, dried or both. Say what you want about dried plums, but after a few weeks they get kind of bland. It would be so nice to sink his teeth into something juicy and fresh and...

”Nepeta!” he exclaimed, spotting her half-dropping down the last three or four meters of rope, landing with barely a sound on the deck below. ”It’s about time to wake up now, isn’t it?” He wasn’t really sour, just a bit jealous that he couldn’t be as casual with his job. Nepeta, in turn, was fixing her blue bandana, grinning at him.

”Yeah, I was feeling’ hungry and those seagulls are too hard for me to catch! Got anything tasty to eat, Sollicks?” She skipped up to him, three steps at a time. It was no wonder she got put at work climbing the rigging, she was a natural athlete. Sollux, meanwhile, was more on the scrawny side, but that had its uses too! For example he…

Well… he was a damn good navigator, spoke about six different languages, and his mapmaking skills had improved vastly over the last few weeks that he’d been a member of the Crab Crew… Yeah… He was probably going to go back to the Ram once they met up with Aradia’s ship again, but for now he was still the ”hostage” that Karkat had so adamantly demanded after their last ”skirmish”. To be fair, he was treated well, pretty much like any member of the crew, and he got along with most of them. Karkat kept inviting him over to double- or triple check the maps, which he found a bit odd. Sollux hadn't made any of them, but he could definitely attest to their accuracy, which made it all the more strange that the captain was so eager to hear his captive's opinion on their routes.

"Whatcha thinkin' about, Sollicks?" Nepeta's curious face popped up about half an inch from his and Sollux took an involuntary step backwards, scowling. He hadn't interacted much with the olive-blood, but she was a friendly enough person, if somewhat mischievous. And she had a body to, quite frankly, die for. Sollux was weak for curvy ladies, well, weak for curves in general, and Nepeta definitely fitted the bill, even if she was a bit on the short side. He couldn't for the life of him see why she was so talkative today, however. Most of the time she'd be sneaking off to tease one of the other sleeping crewmembers.

"N-nothing," he muttered, realizing that he'd lingered a little too long on the memories of the previous evening where Karkat had invited him to his cabin to discuss provisioning, "What's with the sudden interest? No one's got any food to steal?"

"Well, that's why I was asking you!" she grinned broadly and prodded his chest, the lanky troll almost forced a step back. "But whatever, I've got a bit of an odd request, a purrdicament, if you would." She knew how little he cared for puns, he made an extra effort to look utterly done just to drive home the point. Nepeta seemed not to notice, or care, and instead looked sly, her eyes narrowed as if she was judging whether she could trust him or not.

"...What do you need help with and how do I get out of doing it?" Sollux sighed, shoulders slumping. He WAS technically their prisoner, and if Nepeta felt like it she could get him to do all kinds of things. That's how the rules were.

"Ooooh, I dunnoooo..." she purred, bouncing back and forth on the balls of her feet as she pretended to play innocent. "I was just wondering what you Karkitty get up to all night in his cabin!"

Sollux immediately knew what she was talking about and he scoffed, trying to act outraged that she would even imply anything like that. As if!

Naturally Nepeta spotted the bright yellow spots on the navigator's cheeks and she smirked, a look of victory in her eyes. Of course her senses had been accurate, Sollux was so into the Captain. He just didn't know it yet! That was always the problem, but Nepeta wasn't the ship's top shipper for nothing, and the plan she'd been working on at the back of her head was already beginning to take form.

"For your information, my captor has asked for my help with the maps, a service I'm forced to provide whether I like it or not." A transparent excuse, but Nepeta pretended to be placated, faking a look of boredom.

"Oh, I see..." she sighed, putting her hands behind her head, "I thought it was something saucier... Meow well! I'm off to see if John's up!" And with that, she was gone, and the poor helmsman could relax. What a way to end a shift... he couldn't wait to slip into his hammock and drift off to sleep.

\---

"First of all, Nepeta, I am outraged that you would even think to supect me of having some kind of... flushed... intention!" Karkat was his usual, frothy self, the subject of discussion obviously quite embarrassing for him. Nothing she hadn't seen before, her only slightly taller captain walking back and forth while gesticulating wildly. "The man's a prisoner, and a damn good cartographer! Of course I'd ask for his advice when we're traveling unknown seas!"

"But meow said we're going to an island you've been to..."

"PRACTICALLY unknown seas!" Karkat was flushed. He was always flushed, one way or another. But this particular shade of red was definitely of the 'Stop asking me about my romantic interests' hue.

"And you ask for his advice.... every night?" Nepeta couldn't help but sound coy. After all, how often did you get to grill your captain on his romantic pursuits? And with no one else having the goods on it? Nepeta couldn't believe her luck! Now, if she could just get Karkat to admit to himself that he was heads over heels in their guest from the Ram, she could set them up for a nice candlelit dinner, maybe with someone playing a nice tune on their mandolin in the background... and of course, ending with a hot, steamy night of passion in the captain's cabin! 

She'd ask Gamzee to cover for Sollux, he owed her big time after all!

"It's a dangerous route, alright!?" It was clear that Karkat was simultaneously both appreciating that his romantic interest had been noted, but also very much disliking talking about it. He was funny like that. He shouted so much for attention, but as soon as anyone gave him any he clammed up and got embarrassed.

"Look, it's purrfectly simple," she sat on the table, ass planted on the map the Captain and Sollux had been studying the night before, legs swaying. She was honestly too short to be allowed, but it came with a lot of perks, "I'll set you two up a small little one-on-one, give you two the time to talk about how you're feeling about each other, see where it takes you!" She giggled and winked at her captain, who seemed at the point of meltdown.

"It doesn't WORK like that Nepeta," bingo, he admitted it, "it can't just be some romantic candlelit night! What if he's sworn to someone else or... or worse, not interested!?" Karkat's eyes widened as he imagined all the scenarios that could go wrong, "What if I say something wrong, or... or he... what if he decides to jump the ship!?"

Nepeta smiled patiently at her captain, "It's fine! We'll stop him if he climbs up the railing, you think I'm going to let you handle this all on purr lonesome? Pfft!" She papped him softly, "I'll be up in the rig, watching it all, ready to help you out whenever you need me!"

"I can't do it..." Karkat actually looked mortified, and Nepeta stopped smiling. This wasn't good. He really liked Sollux, and she did too! And she liked her captain! She knew how hard it had been to make him admit that he liked her, but after that the two had had no problems sharing bunks, and a bit more. It was just that first step that bothered him so much. "You have to help me, Nep..."

"Alright... Alright, but meownly because you two look so good together!"

\---

Sollux had been walking up the stairs to the wheel when Nepeta had poked him in the side, handing the confused mustard-blood a letter from Karkat. The instructions had been simple: "Meet me at the stern of the ship in half a glass, wear something nice."

She'd written it, of course, as a letter from Karkat would have been at least three pages long, and probably unable to convey the point anyway. With a look of utter confusion, Sollux had read it through again, then he'd simply shrugged and headed off to the bunks to get changed. Nepeta had joined, of course, ready to provide a helping hand in getting the other dressed, only to find herself in a situation where she would be more or less alone with the tall, bespectacled troll getting changed.

Now, Nepeta had obviously checked him out, if only because you rarely saw new faces on board, but she'd never seem him without his shirt on... and he was hiding a nice figure. He reminded her a bit of Kanaya, whom she'd met occasionally when in port. Tall, slightly curvy, but very elegant. If he didn't slouch, Sollux would be impressive, his sharp features striking quite the figure!

She actually found herself staring, wondering what other assets he was hiding, but quickly had to recover herself to help the still perpetually confused navigator pick something decent to wear. 

\---

The dinner was a disaster.

Even though the two of them had chatted a bit at the beginning, both Karkat and Sollux had quickly grown flustered as the list of neutral topics of discussion grew shorter. By the end, Karkat was sipping wine with his face half-buried in the cup and Sollux was looking at the stars, looking as if he wanted to be anywhere but there.

And Nepeta was in shambles. This couldn't continue, her reputation as a master shipper was at stake, and she couldn't let poor Karkitty live with this failure! Especially since they might not have a chance like this again any time soon!

"So..." she began, hanging upside down from the rigging. The two of them jumped, as if they'd forgotten she was there. "...Did Karkitty tell you why you're here?"

Sollux glanced at Karkat, who looked about as oblivious as he was, and shrugged. "...Not really. Dinner, I suppose?"

Nepeta gave a theatrical shake of her head, still upside down, and faked a scowl at Karkat. "Really, you didn't tell him about the initiation rite?"

"What ini-" Karkat began, but caught her eyes and shut up.

"What initiation rite?" Sollux, thankfully, hadn't heard Karkat. "I've been on the ship for over a month, what are you talking about?"

"Weeelll..." Nepeta murmured, "I guess if the captain hasn't told you..." She toyed with the rope she hung from a bit, fiddling with a loose thread.

"Why... don't you tell him, Nepeta?" Karkat spoke through clenched teeth, trying to look natural and failing at it.

"Y'see, the tradition on board is that... oh, I don't know, it's so embarrassing I couldn't - well alright, if you insist!" She grinned and flipped out of the webbed rope, landing on all four. "The tradition is that the newest member of the crew's got to kiss the captain! For good luck!"

She could see Karkat flushing bright red, outshined only by Sollux's yellow. Perfect, and the wine had done its work too!

"K-Kiss?" Sollux looked aghast, eyes darting from Karkat to Nepeta rapidly. "No one t-told me..."

"It's fine, It's fine!" She comforted him, walking up to the small table, "Of course, it's a bit embarrassing at first, 's why I'll kiss the captain to... y'know, warm him up."

Karkat seemed a little wary, but it wasn't as if he and Nepeta hadn't kissed before... still... the look he gave her was one clearly signalling: "are you sure this is going to help?"

She wiggled her eyebrows at the crabby captain and grabbed him by the shoulders, planting a wet one on his lips, well in view of Sollux to watch. She mmm'd into his mouth, remembering suddenly how nice it was to lock lips with Karkat, not wanting to let go but... the gemini looked completely overwhelmed, staring wide-eyed at them both, and Nepeta had to pick up the thread.

"Of course... if you'd rather, you could kiss me, since I just kissed the captain..." she purred, leaning towards Sollux with a wide grin on her face. Sollux turned, if possible, even more yellow and glanced at Karkat, who seemed as surprised as he was. She could see that he was interested, but no surprise that this was a little bit overwhelming for someone who had, up until now, not been romantically approached by either of them. At least not noticeably.

Maybe Nepeta shouldn't have had any of that wine either, but the bottles were empty and she had invested far too much time and energy into this for it to just peter out into nothing. Giggling, she produced a bottle of rum from underneath the table, pouring a helping for each of the two in their glasses, and holding the bottle for herself.

"Fine, if we're all too high-strung for this, how about a game to ease our nerves?"

"...S-Sure," Sollux raised an eyebrow, glancing at Karkat.

"Nepeta, are you su-"

"I've never! It's a simple game!" she hushed Karkat, holding up the bottle. "One of us says 'I've never... something or whatever', and those who have done that have to take a sip. It's sooo easy, look, I'll start." she looked them both in the eyes and nodded.

"I've never... studied a map!"

The silence that followed was so pregnant it might just go into labor at any moment.

"Are... are you serious?" Sollux gave Nepeta a look of mixed surprise and doubt. She nodded, returning the look with a scowl, and both him and Karkat had to raise their glasses and take a sip. Nepeta, of course, had never bothered to learn about those things.

"Alright, Sollux, your turn!"

\---

About half the bottle later, the three had loosened up quite a bit, embarrassed laughter and thumping at the table as Karkat just finished his glass after admitting that he had, in fact, pailed himself in the Crow's Nest, something neither Nepeta nor Sollux had done. Embarrassed, yet laughing the loudest, Karkat was pouring himself some more rum.

"Alright..." it was Nepeta's turn, and although her plan seemed to be working, she was a little too inebriated to truly enjoy the sweet taste of victory. Well, she did enjoy a taste... and it tasted like rum. Sure was sweet though.

"Alright... this'll... this'll be a doozy, meow all ready?" The others nodded, Sollux even looking eager as he held his cup up high. "I've... I've never... I've never... fucked someone on top of a map."

None of them drank, and for a moment there was that silence again. Then Karkat coughed, "Maybe..." he muttered, beet red in the face, "Maybe we should... do something about that."  
Sollux looked suddenly very sober... until Nepeta took the opportunity to empty his cup into his mouth, and he coughed from the burning sensation, distracted long enough for Nepeta to take them both by the hand, leading them towards the captain's cabin...

"Remember the initiation rite, Sollux. As the newest crewmember, you have to kiss the captain. I just didn't tell you where..."


End file.
